Making and maintaining friendships as an adult can feel like a real challenge, especially for all the introverted millennials out there. You’re constantly juggling so many responsibilities – work deadlines pile up, family obligations take over, and there’s just always something else to do. You might feel drained and, ironically, a bit lonely. So, you make a mental note to call a friend by 5 pm, thinking that’ll be the moment you finally catch up. But as the evening rolls around, you’re still stuck trying finish that last bit of work, and before you know it, it’s 8 pm, and all you want to do is fall into bed. You tell yourself, “I’ll call them over the weekend, but then, weekend arrives with its own long list of tasks – deep cleaning, the never-ending laundry pile, attending that family event you couldn’t dodge, and so on.
Oh, hi! welcome to adulthood. When friendships that used to feel easy and spontaneous now seem like another item on your to-do list. But here’s the truth: even with a busy life, friendships are incredibly important. Research shows that adults with close friendships report higher life satisfaction and well-being. So, how do we make sure these friendships last, despite everything else going on?
Here are a few simple tips to keep those connections strong:
Don’t Overthink Things
Friendships shouldn’t feel like complicated puzzles that need constant solving. But sometimes, we can’t help but overanalyse everything—every text, every conversation, even the smallest change in a friend’s behaviour. When you haven’t heard from a friend in a while, your mind may start racing: Did I say something wrong last time we spoke? Did I do something to upset them? But guess what, your friend is probably just dealing with their own life. They’re not pulling away, they’re just busy, like you.
So, instead of getting caught in your head, try assuming the best. If you’re feeling unsure, ask. Be open about how you’re feeling. Friendships are much easier when we stop reading into every little detail.
Let Go of Keeping Score
“I called you last time,” “I’ve been the one to reach out three times in a row,” “Remember, I visited you last?” Friendships aren’t meant to be a scoreboard. Keeping track of who did what and when can breed resentment and turn a relationship into a transaction.
Sometimes, you’ll put in more effort; other times, your friend will. That’s the ebb and flow of any genuine relationship. Instead of counting favours, focus on whether the friendship feels balanced and fulfilling in the long run.
Have a Routine
We all have routines. Work tasks, family gatherings, even our skincare routines. But what about a routine for our friendships?
Having a regular connection is a great way to strengthen your bond. It could be as simple as a weekly phone call while you do laundry, or as big as celebrating birthdays and holidays together. Having a routine makes it easier to stay in touch, taking the stress out of constant coordination.
Communicate Openly
When it comes to friendships, being clear about your feelings is key. If something’s bothering you, don’t assume your friend will just know. We’re not mind readers, and when we leave frustrations unspoken, they can easily turn into resentment.
So, speak up. A simple “Hey, it’s been a while, are we good?” can clear up misunderstandings before they become bigger issues. The sooner you talk about it, the better.
Do something different
If you feel like your friendship is becoming too boring, try shaking things up. Sometimes, a small change can bring new energy to your relationship.
If you usually meet at the gym, why not try an evening out at a new café or bar? Or, if you’ve been sharing the same old content online, suggest a more meaningful conversation about something new—like a career change or a new investment. Sometimes, all it takes is a shift in activity to re-energise your connection.
Be Intentional
Building strong friendships takes time and effort, but it’s worth it. Be the friend who checks in, suggests meet-ups, and is open to trying new things together. The more you invest in your friendships, the easier and more enjoyable they become. You won’t have to overthink every message or worry about constantly proving yourself. True friends make life lighter, not harder.
So, yes, adulthood is demanding, but friendships don’t have to fall by the wayside. With a little intention and effort, they can continue to thrive, adding joy and balance to the chaos of everyday life.
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Feature image by Kampus Production for Pexels
