I am a leaker. In my writing, I share some of the most personal narrations about my life. But I have also found a way not to over-share. Some balance that places me where people think they know me yet they don’t. Plus, in writing, you’re sharing to inform, to tell people, in a detailed version, the thoughts parading your mind. But, in recent times, I have noticed how people have increasingly brought their internal affairs on social media.
There is a difference between sharing an issue or matter that concerns you alone on the internet and an issue or matter that extends to a third party. Rightfully so, a social media page is meant to be personal and you can so wish to share whatever is yours. But when the social media page has now been turned into a platform where issues involving your family or friends are being shared, it defeats the purpose of personal, especially when the issue could prompt reactions from people.
A while back, an X user shared how their father woke them by 1 a.m. to prepare tea, and, as a practice on TwitterNG when topics like this capture their interest, everyone latched on and started sharing opinions on whether the father had the right or not to wake them up by that hour to make tea. The conversation dangled to several angles that it morphed into a topic of responsibilities between parents and children. And when each angle is properly dissected, one could agree that the father was inconsiderate for waking them by that hour just to make tea or not. I am not a judge in this case; apart from the fact that my father is even dead, I know he wouldn’t wake me up by that hour to make tea. To read? Most possibly. Otherwise? Nah.
But on another level, the tweet might have been made just out of empty venting. Before that day, the tweeter never made a tweet with that extent of virality. They probably did not expect the tweet to move beyond their circle, but since X has become an open ground where an innocent tweet could transcend borders, the tweet left their hands and went haywire. This informs why it has become imperative for us to be cautious of how and what we post. Do we seek responses to inner queries from strangers on the internet? Do we expose some details about our family and friends to people who sometimes can appear remorseless? Do we sometimes have to post at all?
The consequences of over-sharing are rarely considered until the damage is done. Some viral posts have led to real-life repercussions like family rifts, job losses, and even security risks. While social media can be a space for relief, not everything is meant for public consumption. The boundary between venting and exposing personal or familial matters to the world is often blurred, and once something is out there, controlling the narrative becomes nearly impossible. So do you want to bring issues concerning your father or mother or sister or brother or relatives to social media? Do you want to set your family members up for drags?
Many fail to realise that they are offering up their most personal moments to an audience that may not always have their best interests at heart when they share stories.
Then there is the illusion of privacy in a public space. Social media feels personal because we curate our feeds, engage with familiar names, and assume our posts are confined to our digital bubble. But once something is posted, it is no longer ours alone. Posts meant for close circles can easily spiral out of control, shared by strangers with their own interpretations and stripped of their original intent. The idea that we are in control of our narratives on the internet is a fallacy we often forget.
Social media has been largely useful for Nigerians—#EndSARS, one of the world’s biggest protests, started on social media; people have crowdfunded for scholarships and opportunities, and X especially has connected long-lost friends. But as much as it serves as a powerful tool to connect, advocate and express ourselves, it is also a public archive that we may not always control.
Before we hit post, perhaps we should ask: Does this post involve someone else? Will it inform or inflame? And most importantly, do we really want to let strangers into parts of our lives we can never take back?
