From the moment we are born, we are led to believe that our lives revolve around times and seasons. Some seasons are pleasant, while others can be quite challenging. Both types of seasons are integral to our life experiences, but nothing truly prepares us for the season of grief—when we lose a loved one, a close friend, or a valued colleague. Grief strikes with such force that it feels as if a part of your heart has been taken away, and you realise that things will never be the same as you once envisioned or desired.
In the first few weeks of grief, you experience a wide range of emotions, including denial, anger, and depression. You find yourself questioning why the universe has presented you with this burden, especially at this particular time. You remain immersed in your feelings, asking yourself, “Do I deserve this?” You try to console yourself by saying, “It is well,” “You have to be strong,” and “They are in a better place, away from this sinful world.”
During this period, you realise that grief is a solitary experience. The memories you shared with your loved one are deeply personal, and no one else can truly understand the connection or the depth of your loss. Only you can feel the void they left behind. As a human that you are, you allow yourself to grieve; finding strength through this process is a journey.
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My mom was a very sweet soul. When she passed away six months ago, I was in disbelief because she was so strong—never ill, never fragile, never weak. I would call her a pillar of strength. Describing my emotions at that time as hitting rock bottom doesn’t quite capture the depth of my feelings; only therapy helped me start to see some light in the very dark tunnel I suddenly found myself in. Grief is a significant challenge, and during this time, all I needed was love, not endless questions about what happened that I received.
While scrolling through my newsfeed a while back, I encountered a video of a family mourning their mother, who had passed away at the age of 45. You could truly feel their pain as they gathered for a service of songs held in her honour. I couldn’t help but wish them the strength to get through this difficult time. I hope they can transform their grief into strength, living each day in remembrance of the lives their mom touched, as I read in the tributes.
Grief transforms you; it makes you perceive life through a new compass, a different lens, and a distinct perspective. No one who has experienced grief remains unchanged; it serves as a teacher, offering countless lessons for a lifetime. I am beginning to understand the reality that grief brings to light: living your best life and showing compassion, as that is what the world truly needs. Bob Neimeyer, Professor Emeritus in the Department of Psychology at the University of Memphis, states in a podcast, “We grieve as a function of who we are, who we lose, and how we lose them.”
If you are currently navigating the path of grief, know that you are not alone and that every feeling you have is valid. Try not to rush your healing process; instead, seek sanity and move towards the light to find the strength your heart seeks. Learn to listen to your soul, your heart, and your mind, especially when the pain feels so tangible that you can almost hold it.
You may not heal immediately, but remember that you are on a journey. Healing takes time, so give your heart the space it needs. In memory of your loved one, cherish their smiles, laughter, words of wisdom, and wishes for you. While this may not heal you completely, it can bring some comfort.
As you take steps to find strength through your grief, remember that you are not alone. Many of us have walked this path and continue to do so. There is no right or wrong way to grieve; there are only the ways that work for you. May you never walk alone, and may the universe show kindness to everyone who is experiencing grief.
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Feature Image by August de Richelieu for Pexels
