My only son, Hersh, was kidnapped from a music festival on Oct. 7, 2023, after having his dominant forearm and hand blown off. He was held captive, tortured, starved and then, after 328 days, shot in the hand (his only one), shoulder, neck and twice in the head in a dark and airless tunnel in Gaza on Aug. 29, 2024.
Hersh’s name had been on the list, in July, who would be released in a deal between Hamas and Israel. But that deal did not happen, because decision makers did not want it to happen. And Hersh, along with five other beautiful young people, with whom he was being held hostage, are now all dead.
My husband Jon and I, after having suffered more than 300 days of every parent’s nightmare of utter and indescribable torment, continued advocating and pushing for the release of the remaining hostages in Gaza. We did not want anyone else to go through what we are and will continue grappling with for the rest of our lives. At this time there are 98 hostages still in Gaza. The live hostages must come home to be physically and psychologically rehabilitated, and the deceased must return to have proper and respectful burials.
Finally, on Wednesday, the news came that a deal was reached and will begin to be implemented imminently.
Over 200 messages flooded my phone. People seemed confused that Jon and I are relieved and happy that so many of our hostage community, with whom we feel like family, will finally be reunited with their loved ones. This does not mean we are not in agonizing mourning and oozing with grief for our beloved Hersh, who we buried 135 days ago. It means we can hold two truths; we can even hold more.
Humans are fascinating creatures. We can experience a multitude of diverse feelings simultaneously. So we can experience suffering while still having the capacity to laugh, we can be longing for someone and capable of celebration, we can be weeping and resilient, we can be yearning and hopeful.
What is essential to us at this moment is that we make sure this phase of the deal is the beginning of the end, and not the end. Getting out 33 cherished human beings is critical. BUT, there are still going to be 65 hostages left in captivity. This remains a microcosm of failure of all of humanity.
The remaining hostages represent 23 different nations. They are Christians, Jews, Muslims, Hindus, and Buddhists. The youngest is Kfir Bibas, who will turn two years old on Saturday, Jan. 18. And the oldest is Shlomo Mansur, who is 86 years old. They are both slated for being released in this first phase of the deal. Yet back in November 2023, they were also supposed to be released (as was my son Hersh), but the deal broke down and now Hersh is dead. I pray Kfir and Shlomo come home as planned, alive and able to recover.
In addition, the innocent Gazans who have suffered terribly since the Hamas attack on Oct. 7, 2023 also severely and critically need relief and recovery immediately. So this deal must happen, to the very end, with everyone in the region finally able to quench our common desperate need for solace.
While I remain ever optimistic and cautiously sanguine, a deal is not a deal until it is successfully completed.
Godspeed to us all.
