One way or another, we all seek validation from someone or somewhere. You might disagree or try to prove that you’re different, but deep down, we all desire for someone to believe in us, to share our views, or acknowledge our perspective on what is right or wrong. Sometimes, seeking validation affects our everyday lives, shaping our every thought, action and sometimes even our self-worth.
A practical example is social media. Whether on Instagram, Facebook, or any other platform where news and opinions circulate, we are constantly exposed to different viewpoints. Sometimes, while ruminating on our own thoughts, we construct a theory about a particular situation. In our minds, this perspective feels accurate and valid, according to our logical deduction of the matter. We believe others must be wrong for seeing it differently than we do.
Then, we go online and coincidentally stumble upon someone who expresses the same thought we had. Suddenly, we feel satisfied. We say, “Finally, someone gets it!” And in that moment, our belief is further reinforced. It no longer feels like just our own perspective; now, it seems like an undeniable truth. If someone else agrees with it, then surely it must be right, and anyone who contradicts it must be wrong.
This need for validation exists in all aspects of life like politics, religion, education and societal norms. Whether consciously or unconsciously, we all seek it. You’ll recall times when you saw or heard something and instantly thought, “Yes! I agree!” Then, in your mind, you built further reasoning around it, making it even stronger in your belief system.
But people don’t always validate the truth. Some individuals and groups spread misinformation, either intentionally or out of ignorance. And those who are desperate for validation, especially those with weak or impressionable minds, accept it without question. This is how misleading narratives take root and spread. Once a false idea gains enough supporters publicly, it becomes widely accepted and treated as the only valid perspective, no matter how flawed it may be.
I once had a friend in my compound who constantly sought validation from the so-called “big guys.” Whenever he did something wrong, they were always there to justify his actions and back him up. Because of this, he never truly held himself accountable for anything. But when those big guys eventually moved out, leaving him behind, he was left struggling socially, unable to navigate situations without external support around.
I had been his friend once, but the moment he started gaslighting me, I distanced myself. Recently, an incident occurred where I simply responded to something he said. Instead of handling the situation calmly, he lashed out, cursing, insulting and even threatening to beat me up—all because I said something he didn’t like. Something that seemed wrong to him, whereas I knew I was right. I knew I hadn’t done anything wrong, and neither had everyone around us.
But then, the issue of validation came into play. In his need to justify his actions, he sought out someone else in the compound to support him. And even though everyone—including the person who sided with him—knew I was not wrong, validation won over logic. The moment he found someone to back him up, his wrongs felt like rights in his own mind.
This is exactly how dangerous beliefs take root in society. People want to feel justified, so they manipulate situations, gather supporters, and twist reality to fit their narrative. And when enough people agree, the wrong suddenly seems like the only right. They seek validation even when they are wrong most times.
We must learn to think critically, to differentiate truth from falsehood, and to resist blindly agreeing with whatever aligns with our emotions. Strengthen your mind, be cautious of misinformation, and don’t be an agent of falsehood.
The world would be a much better place if people followed this simple principle: Seek the truth rather than just validation. I can’t dictate what is right or wrong, as many dynamics influence how the world operates today. However, it’s important not to follow blindly. Think for yourself, question what you hear, and stand by reason instead of merely seeking approval.
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Feature Image by Darina Belonogova for Pexels
