A friend of mine once told me, “I expect the worst from people from time to time, so when they leave, I won’t be so disappointed or left hanging.”
At first, I didn’t fully grasp his perspective, but when I reflected on it, I realised he was right. You might not agree with expecting the worst at any time, but he had already found a way to manage the pain of loss before it even happened. When you go through something painful, you don’t think twice before finding ways to protect yourself from experiencing such again. He built his own defense mechanism.
The longer you stay with someone, the harder it is to let go. This is a practical reality. You bond, make memories, go places together, and share experiences. But in the end, something beyond your power happens and everything falls apart. In life, I have realised, one thing is certain: no one really stays forever. Even in marriages, couples don’t remain together indefinitely. At some point, death or divorce separates them.
“Forever is the deal” is a phrase often used but many don’t fully understand its true meaning. That forever is never feasible. As one partner grows old, they eventually leave this world, proving that the idea of forever is never truly guaranteed.
Beyond death, the strongest bond in marriage sometimes becomes a shadow of what it once was earlier. Many couples pretend to be in love, but in reality, they truly aren’t. At the end of the day, divorce happens between them. You see people who once seemed deeply in love suddenly part ways, leaving you to wonder what went wrong. Maybe the fault came from the man or woman, we can never truly tell. But the truth we often forget is that, eventually, people leave.
In our relationships with friends, a close friend may move to another country or another state. Even if you both remain in the same place, life’s circumstances might weaken that strong bond you once had together. New priorities, responsibilities and changes create distance, making it impossible to maintain the same connection.
So as the saying goes, enjoy it while it lasts. Don’t put all your hopes into any relationship lasting forever, because it just might not reach that forever. You can wish for it, but you never truly know what the next moment holds. Anything can happen, causing that relationship to dissolve in an instant. Just go with the flow and enjoy the moments as they come. Because if you invest your all into a relationship and that dreaded moment arrives—the moment you prayed would never come—letting go will be so agonising. It can weigh heavily on your mind and even affect your health. Not everyone has the emotional strength to handle heartbreak or separation.
I’m not suggesting that you shouldn’t put effort into your relationships. Instead, learn to protect yourself from situations that could make you lose your sense of self. Heartbreaks can hold you back, and we all know that moving forward in life is essential. It’s the right thing to do; otherwise, you risk getting left behind. People will betray you, some will leave you, and life may take unexpected turns. However, acknowledging this reality can help you cope when those moments arise. The process of healing is challenging, but it is worthwhile.
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Feature Image by Darina Belonogova for Pexels
